I wrote this post 16 years ago. Sixteen years. How time flies and how the universe has led me to a house on top of a hill that I have now come to call my home. To a family I love with all my heart.
At the time, I was a different person and was with a different person then. Our instability was our stability. A poetic fusion of confusion and love that didn’t feel quite right.
He was my twin flame. He taught me a lot about myself, but only after leading me to the darkest part of me where I met both my weakness and my strength. As soon as I found my own light, I knew without a doubt he had to go.
I learned, albeit painfully, what I had to learn.
I rose like a fucking phoenix rising from the ashes.
And every day that I sit in my reading corner and look out at the view from my window, I whisper a prayer of gratitude to the universe.
She knew my heart all along.
someday, i’ll live in a house on top of a hill overlooking the whole city. and i’ll be staring at the city lights the whole night if that’s what it takes to chase the blues away.
i would stare at the world forever and contemplate on everything that comes to mind.
just think about everything and nothing at the same time until i get so drowsy and life’s meaning would unfold before my sleepy eyes.
until i find myself lost in the tangled webs of my own thoughts.
until there’s no more need to think.
until the silence is so deafening that time stands still and i am caught in the stillness of the moment.
until i drown in the depths of my solitude.
until that time when the only hand i’m holding is his.
the pauses between 