this is what happens when you read too much ecclesiastes

lysterfield lake

with my dad being sick, lately i find myself philosophizing about how life can be such a beautiful bitch.

on one hand, there’s light and love and laughter.

on the other hand, there’s darkness, despair, and death.

i hate to sound morbid but the plain and honest truth is, i’m scared.

i’m scared of losing the people i love the most.

my parents, most especially. and raven too, of course.

“what about me?!” jeff wailed when i told him about it and this journey i’m on to become a f%cking philosopher almost overnight.

“you’ll live,” i replied candidly, laughing because the dude had a point and i totally missed him in my calculation.

but then again, there’s my sisters and my friends that didn’t make it to the initial count either but that’s not to say they’re not on the list or that i wouldn’t be devastated if i lose them.

because i will.

just as i imagine raven would too when she loses me one day.

it’s all a f%cking cycle.