Watching her sleep last night, her baby soft cheek snuggled gently against her pillow, Jeff and I talked about how much Raven means to us. How much she has changed us into the persons we are now. It dawned on me how, in actuality, she’s doing us a favor instead of the other way around. The amount of joy she gives us is immeasurable. Her love for us unconditional.

Every day, we watch her grow. Always a bittersweet reminder of time and how it passes so quickly.

“One day,” I told her, “you’re gonna have your own friends and you won’t hang out with mama anymore.”

“Nooo!” she cried, hugging me to her. My heart felt the authenticity of her pain. “I wanna hang out with you forever and ever!”

She’ll be turning four years old tomorrow. Yesterday we played dress up and had a little picnic in the backyard. It was so simple and yet so special that I would take that kind of quiet celebration over a noisy party any day where I can let my guard down and cleanup is a breeze. But, of course, that’s the introvert in me talking and secretly enjoying this government-mandated social isolation.

El2 did the impromptu decoration using whatever material available around the house. To complete the setup, Raven added her purple watering can and bowl of grapes.

“Do you like it, mama?” She smiled proudly.

“Oh, wow, that’s a really good idea, baby!” I meant it, too.

The rest of the afternoon was spent taking pictures, flapping flannel blankets over our shoulders pretending they were fairy wings, eating dougnuts, painting our nails, reading oracle cards, taking more pictures, and then eating more doughnuts.

We still plan on celebrating her birthday tomorrow (again, nothing major because, duh.) because when all was said and done, she complained loudly, “Hey, somebody forgot to buy me an LOL present!”

She’s been hanging for an LOL toy lately, thanks (or no thanks) to Youtube’s Slick Slime Sam, her favourite character who, I’m not even kidding, looks like a shiny red dildo. But, of course, it’s a freaking kid’s show. So they attached a pair of brown eyes with black John Lennon glasses on him to distract your dirty mind from the obvious, make him talk even when he doesn’t even have a mouth, and pretty much do everything despite the fact that he doesn’t have any limbs. At all.

I’m not bashing the show, though. It’s a pretty entertaining show, if you disregard everything I just told you about. Like I said, Raven loves it for its arts and crafts, science-y stuff, and unboxing of toys that she now wants to have. Between that and Youtube videos of young girls calling each other BFFs and themselves princesses in fake-sounding voices I can’t stand, I’d go for the dildo. At the very least, it’s educational.

*Raven at 3 years old