so i bought a ticket for the $2 sweep at work yesterday.

this is my horse for the melbourne cup.

posted this same photo on instagram with the exact same caption. two people thought i was holding a pregnancy test for a second.

taking into account the cost of day care and the teenage peer pressure to have what everyone else has at the expense of their parents’ blood, sweat, and tears, i reckon raising a horse would probably be much cheaper.

in other news, my horse came in 15th.

i mean the other horse.

and, no, no fancy dresses or fascinators for us at the races on this day — or ever. we kept it real, eating dumplings and xiao long bao at glen waverley before entertaining ourselves with the mirrors near the pancake parlour.

because when you don’t have a lot of dough to begin with, that’s pretty much how you roll. and for the most part, we’re fine with that.

oh, we stopped by this asian shop too where jeff had hearts all over his eyes at the sight of haw flakes. remember that sh*t? we used to play communion with it with our friends, getting everyone to line up and the designated “priest” would say the customary words: body of christ…

i never really liked haw flakes. he bought two packs.

what’s it made of, anyway?

*raven at 2 years old