if i could go back in time and be pregnant all over again — highly unlikely and purely hypothetical as i wasn’t really a fan of my gestational diabetes and body changes although i’m not complaining about the boobs because having that much cleavage was very exciting — i would probably host my own baby shower.

probably.

like, in the remotest sense of the word.

like, almost never.

but if i do, it wouldn’t be your typical baby shower. i wouldn’t ask you to come bearing gifts. i would, however, ask you to come with an open mind. because chances are, you’d be weirded out and wishing you were somewhere else instead of in my sacred circle tying strings around your wrist as a reminder to keep me in your thoughts until i go into labor. and only then can you cut the string off, praying for me to have a safe delivery as you do so.

it’s a traditional navajo ritual called blessing way and the whole concept appeals to me even in this modern day and time. i am an old soul. or maybe just old. either way, i crave for its meaning and feminine solidarity. if i could take it up a notch, i’d even get everyone to do the ritual in the light of the full moon. you know, get some of that ‘charmed’ thing going while we’re at it.

that’s the reason why i’m not having baby showers. the kind of shit that i want to do is something only women as crazy as i am would be game enough to participate in. i can count only four friends i can imagine doing the ritual with. three live overseas. the one here is imaginary.

so, anyway, i was invited to a baby shower last weekend. my very first one. it was actually very nice to spend time with other women, sharing stories about the triumphs and tribulations of having kids — motherhood being the gentle force connecting us all.

the theme of the party was high tea. rizza and her friend did a wonderful job in setting the table up with sandwiches, macarons, scones, cupcakes and what-have-you. it was actually quite lovely. and yummy, too.

there were contests as well and what do you know? i finally won in one — besting everyone else in putting a cloth nappy on a doll by 32 seconds. damn was i quick! all those years working in a hospital nursery back home have led me to this glorious moment and i’m proud to say i did not disappoint. i pretty much aced it.

all in all, it was a fun day. i rarely get to socialize much down here so being around other people somehow nourished my introverted soul, charging it to its full capacity until the next social event; most likely around christmas.

if there’s one thing baby showers have taught me, it’s that my baby will always be a baby to me no matter what.

*raven at 3 years old