in one of the CPR trainings i’ve attended, we were told that the best place to have a heart attack to up your chances of survival was at the MCG; short for Melbourne Cricket Ground which aussies further shortened to ‘the G’ because they couldn’t be bothered with all the extra syllables. which is fair enough.

apparently, MCG is the largest stadium in australia, if not the southern hemisphere. it is said to accommodate 100,000 fans especially on AFL grand final day (a public holiday dedicated to the nation’s love for footy and barbecue). i’ve only been there once when my aunt gave me tickets to watch a footy game and the place, truly, was as massive as the players’ thighs. i kid you not. they looked very solid, those thighs. deadly, even. reminded me of this arabian horse i rode on on a ranch in cebu.

rock-solid rectus femoris aside, the reason why MCG is a good place to have a heart attack is because (1) there would always be somebody who’d notice and call 000; (2) with that many people, chances are there’s a doctor in the crowd somewhere and even if there isn’t there should be a medical team on standby during events anyway; and (3) there are defibrillators stationed strategically in key areas. so, yeah, you’d definitely be luckier than, say, somebody who keels over in the comfort of their own home.

last year, the city of dandenong organized an event called operation emergency ready as a way for locals to say ‘what’s up’ to the men and women who devoted their time and their lives in the service of the community — paramedics, firefighters, cops, even those you call in the event of floods and storms when your house and safety is badly compromised.

looking around me with all the fire trucks, ambulances, and police vehicles around, i say that was the best place to have cardiac arrest.

or feign one, if men in uniform is more your type. *wink, wink*

*raven at 2 years old