truth be told, i’m not very religious. a little ironic considering how, once upon a time, when i was about 8 years old, i’d wear a skirt on my head and pretend it was a habit. i wanted to be a nun.
nobody knows this but i used to have this diary where i would write down the prayers that i would say every single day of the week which i copied from my mom’s prayer books. no one prayer on repeat. my mom had a lot of prayer books.
of course i never stuck to them. the ritual of writing them was more enjoyable than the penance of actually following through.
and i wasn’t exactly a saintly child either. i guess i just liked the novelty of writing things down.
i was a pen and paper kid, you know what i mean? but the extreme kind. i was that kid who secretly saved papers from the rubbish bin because i felt sorry for them. watching them move clumsily forward as i swept the floor felt like a funeral procession and i didn’t have the heart to throw them away so i’d lovingly pick them up like you would a child and stuff them in my mom’s tupperware cabinet.
i know it sounds pretty mental. i probably was. probably still am. probably always will be.
anyhow, back to the business of religion: i don’t really go to church that often here. i know i should but i don’t. for a myriad of reasons. but if there’s one church i would consider my favorite, it would have to be st. francis’ catholic church in the city. for the simple, unexplainable reason that it feels church-y to me — the stained glass windows, wooden ceilings, the paintings on the ceiling — the general feeling of oldness and solemnness about it.
most of all, i love their prayer room. and the fact that you can light candles in there. because it’s rare to find churches here that allow people to do it, obviously for safety reasons. but at st. francis’ church, you can. and i miss that.
i should probably take better, and more recent photos of the church. the next time i go there, i will. for now, these will have to do.
*26 weeks pregnant
the pauses between 
“i was a pen and paper kid, you know what i mean? but the extreme kind. i was that kid who secretly saved papers from the rubbish bin because i felt sorry for them. watching them move clumsily forward as i swept the floor felt like a funeral procession and i didn’t have the heart to throw them away so i’d lovingly pick them up like you would a child and stuff them in my mom’s tupperware cabinet.
i know it sounds pretty mental. i probably was. probably still am. probably always will be.”
this isn’t mental – or we’re together with this 😀
grabeha bitaw nakong mga papel oi – bisan resibo, daginoton nako suwatan ang likod sa akong mga everyday to do list – kay sayangan ko magsuwat sa akong mga bag-ong notebook that i bought specifically for that purpose 😀
really??? lol. glad i’m not the only one. bisan gani karon kinda sayangan gihapon ko manglabay ug papel. but i was worse before. daghan kaayo ko ug mga scratch papers sauna.
even karon sayangan sad ko magsuwat sa mga nindot na notebook. it really takes an effort to put my pen on the paper but i figure i might as well use it kay mas sayang if dili magamit. hehe.
Wow, you really got sentimental about those papers as they lay on the floor and in the rubbish bin, lol. ” as i swept the floor felt like a funeral procession and i didn’t have the heart to throw them away.” That really does bring out the sensitive side of you 😀 In a way, I suppose you are being practical because when I was growing up, my mum taught me the habit of saving papers and use both sides of them at school and for homework – and then only you can throw them away.
On the topic of religion, I don’t follow a religion and don’t go to church. But I do agree that this church in the city is beautiful, especially the glass windows. I’ve stepped in a few times and it always feels like a place of solitude 🙂
I was too young to know the concept of recycling yet so the feelings i had for those trash papers were definitely coming from the heart! Lol. I was a weird kid.
It is a beautiful church, hey? I always get this solemn vibe when i’m inside it. Like the moment you step in, you feel yourself whispering so as not to ruin the sacredness of its silence.
But i have to say it’s not only catholic churches. Because i sometimes get that vibe from buddhist temples too. And how i love lighting those incense candles! I guess you can say i’m one of those people who like to see their prayers lit. Know what i mean? Lol.
There is really something about temples and places of worship that is so peaceful. Sometimes when I walk into one of them, I feel calm right away. Don’t know why.
I’m one of those people who like to feel things with the heart, and I think I feel better than I can see 😀
i feel exactly the same way too! i like to engage all my senses at the same time. it’s almost like a tactile way of being in the moment and memorizing the moment for potential writing material. lol.
“memorizing the moment for potential writing material” LOL. I do that too…and when I get into this zone, I go very quiet. Well, I am a quiet person in general who doesn’t say much to begin with. Oh well 😀
do you notice that a lot of writers are mostly quiet people? i once joined this blog meet back home where all the local bloggers got together. it felt really weird to see them in person and knowing some bits about their lives from their blogs. they sounded so friendly in their blogs but in real life, they seemed very quiet. but then again, that describes me pretty much too. (mainly because it takes a while for me to warm up to people i just met.)
writers are a weird bunch.
I heard that many writers are quiet people too, that many of them are introverts. Haha, I am exactly how you describe – I don’t think I’m that “friendly” in real life being the last person to always speak up 😀
i know exactly what you mean, feeling like i’m kind of like that myself. not that we’re snobs or anything. maybe it’s just that we get too shy. either that, or we wanna take in all points of the conversation first while weighing in our thoughts in our heads before speaking up.
and you have to admit, sometimes it’s so much more fun listening to other people talk about their lives. hehe.
I’m glad you like paper and pens and writing. 🙂 Because you tend to give beautiful notebooks and letters to me, recipient ko. haha. 🙂 I remember seeing your book of quotations and that mini book you binded before with the odd but cute title — lawm man to gud di ko karemember sa title. haha. 🙂 Hope you kept that. Good times.
I love beautiful churches. I love great designs but I also love well maintained churches with a lotttt of history. :0
that’s why we’re friends, right? we have a lotttt of similarities and a lotttt of history as well. =)
i forgot the title of the book but i’m pretty sure it had the word “convoluted” in it. it’s with roma. if i read it again now, i’d probably cringe because it’s probably too corny. haha.
your letters to me were always beautiful. always deep. those ones i kept but they’re in cebu. you’ve always been such a great writer. then again, i always tell you that. #1fan