big eyes

this is the last time, i promise. it’s just that i cannot not post this because it means something to me.


on my last day of work, boduk made this and once again, i was touched. i told her to be good to her next teacher and she said she will, but only if she’s pretty like me.

i would be lying if i say i wasn’t flattered because i sure as hell was so i kind of phished a little, feigning delightful surprise by saying something like, “oh, but i am not pretty!” (shameless, i know. lol.)

“yes, teacher is very pretty!”

and before i knew it, she was drawing my eyes and my lips on the board. (“teacher has very big! eyes and big lips!”) it wasn’t a very pretty picture (see right drawing below) because i hate it when people tell me i have very big eyes. (ram once said i should write it down on my NBI information card as one of my birthmarks in case i become a fugitive. i could’ve murdered him on the spot but i didn’t want the cops hunting for my “birthmark” too soon.) and i hate my lips. gawd, flattery has its own poison, capable of purging out your insecurities against your will. but for what it’s worth, boduk said koreans find big eyes beautiful. the only problem is, i don’t find korean men too hot. so it’s pretty much useless.


gently, i corrected her. “no, teacher doesn’t have very big eyes.” (thought bubble: because i consciously make an effort to squint into the camera to make them look smaller, godammit! ha!)

and as proof that her listening comprehension and her english vocabulary have improved, she exclaimed in perfect english, “yes, you do!”


to cement that stupid fact on the same day of my last day, another student asked if she can draw me. with trauma-induced hesitation, i complied. and there it is — another portrait of me and my very big eyes, with the other eye closed. perhaps to remind me of the stark differences between normal and abnormal.

as they all say, shit happens. in my case, it’s f*cking congenital. lol.

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