on liposuction

caught up with my old workmates sometime last month. and when i say ‘old,’ i don’t mean age-wise because these ladies are definitely young at heart!

it was a dinner date that took a lot of organising on sandy’s part, given how everyone’s busy with their lives. but she made it happen, bless her heart. it was nice to see all of them again after what seemed like ages, the last of which was in november of last year.

i just got off work on this night. like, literally cut my shift short and drove straight to mulgrave country club thus, the haggard look. but probably not as haggard when i got lost on the way home after. freaking GPS had me going in circles because i deliberately avoided the route it gave me. i thought it was taking me to eastlink. i’m allergic to tollways.

speaking of work, i assisted in a cosmetic procedure on this day. liposuction, to be specific. now, i love watching the tv show, botched, so i was quite curious to see what actually goes down in one of those procedures. i’m telling you: it ain’t pretty.

think five liters of fluid and fats suctioned off and waiting for the latter to settle to the bottom of the bag before you record how much of which is what.

it was a lot of work for the doctor as well, pushing and pulling this long metal cannula in and out of the fatty layer of the patient’s abdomen. in. out. in. out. in out. three hours straight.

he had two patients on that day. you do the math. i wouldn’t be surprised if in the process of doing liposuction, he’s burning some fats himself. at the very least, his right biceps are most definitely getting a workout of their own!

as it was my first time to work in a cosmetic procedure, i was given the luxury of observing for the most part before i was relegated to look after the patients in recovery. my job in the theatre was pretty easy: i was tasked to wipe the beads of sweat off the doctor’s forehead before they drop into the sterile field and contaminate the whole surface.

i felt like i was his #1 fan.

the whole time i was watching the procedure, i asked myself, “would i wanna go through it?”

the short answer was, maybe.

at the risk of sounding like i have a body dysmorphic disorder, i do have some pesky abdominal fats that i wanna get rid of that i’m too lazy to do so via exercise. liposuction would definitely be an easy way out.

HOWEVER, recovery is a bitch. this is when the anesthetics taper off and you’re standing there in pain and groggy as hell; two nurses helping you put on a compression garment as tight as a superhero costume; fluids oozing out from your puncture sites, of which there may be as many as six.

that made me think twice.

i think i’ll just have my boobs done instead.