I had Raven’s easter morning all planned out. Maybe not with military precision nor with an accurate itinerary but as far as I was concerned, yes, I was throwing her an easter egg hunt. 100%. The details were a bit vague — even to me — but I relied on the universe to enlighten me with the brightest of ideas when I was most susceptible to cosmic intervention.

Turns out the universe and I collaborate best when we’re both trying to beat a deadline. At 3 in the morning, I was lit. Partly because I woke up harrassed but refreshed from an unplanned nap. Mainly because procrastination was driving me to a point of no return. It was now or never.

I worked feverishly by candlelight, my preferred mode of illumination lately, The Empress giving me looks of I-told-you-so at the same time congratulating me for stepping up to the motherhood plate to compensate for my lack of culinary skills.

I drummed up all the excitement for this event all week. My marketing strategy was so spot on that Raven willingly chewed baby spinach with her toast and sunny side up in exchange for my animated promise of “a super special treasure.”

The last thing I wanted to do was break her heart and turn her off leafy veggies forever because it would remind her of my betrayal.

So, yeah, that was me in the wee hours of the morning today — going in and out bedrooms, the bathroom, front door, back door, up and down stairs, all around and outside the house hiding and distributing eggs, leaving a trail of clues that would lead to the next one that would lead to the map that would point to the super special treasure.

X marks the spot.

Of course Pillow was invited to join in the hunt, too. Pillow is her bestfriend. She got to wear the cape that Raven refused to wear.

Nevermind the fact that Pillow was my bestfriend first since I was a baby. I’ve had it all these years before Raven claimed it as her own shortly before she turned 4 years old. But I love my daughter so I’m happy to share. The three of us give each other group hugs now and Raven would be gushing something along the lines of “We’re bestfriends forever…”

My heart.

The first half of the hunt (held mostly indoors) had Raven and El2 going through all the clues and accumulating eggs in her basket easily. Pushing Raven across the floor on a makeshift boat slash laundry basket to deliver her to the next clue’s destination.

The second half had Jeff scratching his head at the front lawn while he and Raven circled a bald patch of grass intersecting concrete where X was supposed to be, according to Jeff’s expert interpretation of the map and inherent distrust over my geographical skills, or the lack thereof.

“Okay,” he said, frustration creeping in the sound of his voice. “If we were to follow the X exactly as the map says, it would be right here where I’m standing.”

I looked at the map he was holding. The same one I painted in semi-darkness just hours before and had to silently agree with him that my artistic placement of the X may have had a percentage error of 1%. Just a smidgen of oversight easily corrected by common sense. I didn’t say a word.

“Is it under Nana Lorna’s car?” Jeff asked Raven, looking under the chassis. In fairness to him, X was where Ate Lorna’s red Holden sat but why would I put the treasure there? Didn’t make sense. I laughed in spite of myself.

“Is it in your car?” he asked me as soon as he stopped going around in circles looking like he doesn’t know what he’s looking for in a section he’s not sure he should be looking in the first place.

Now we’re talking. My car was parked about a meter away from Ate Lorna’s. How was it not obvious?

“Finally!” I said smugly, proud of myself to have beaten him in my area of weakness, albeit in my own twisted game that came with my own twisted rules. It was like Alice in the Wonderland. It was beautiful.

“Good morning, Moon!” Raven looked up to the sky to welcome another sunny autumn day.

Meanwhile, Jeff was still not over my wrongful placement of X, ready for a heated debate. Bring out the violins, mate.

Oh, about the eggs, I didn’t wanna buy those plastic ones that would just end up in landfill once the festivity was over so Raven and I painted cut-out egg cartons before stuffing them with ferrero rochers. I thought about buying the chocolate eggs but I knew for sure they’d only end up uneaten, too, so might as well get something that this household actually partakes. A bit of an indulgence but they were 40% off at Coles. They were practically begging me to take them home. So I did.

Doubting Thomas is devouring the said treats as we speak. Cradling the entire container like a baby to his chest before sitting down on the couch to watch Netlix.

I should’ve turned their location into another treasure hunt just to make them a bit inaccessible for him.

And also out of spite.

I’m a passive-aggressive Easter bunny.

*Raven at 4 years old