it’s been a while since i’ve been to the city. adulting, for the most part, has deprived me of the energy to travel to places that are more than 10km from home, particularly my bed. or the corner of the couch i sit on where my vision suddenly turns macro, focusing clearly on the tv screen in front of me while the surrounding mess becomes a milky blur. it’s quite poetic, actually. my latest netflix binge? la casa de las flores. i highly recommend it. although i wouldn’t exactly suggest watching it on the fly. you know, while you’re ironing clothes or vacuuming the house or whatever chores you try to catch up on your “me-time.” because it’s in spanish. and unless you are fluent with the language, then you really need to sit down to be able to read the english subtitle to be able to laugh at the opportune moment and not be that person who has to keep asking the other person what the heck just happened and why the f%ck are you laughing your gums out?! needless to say, it’s definitely my kind of humor. which means it might not exactly be your cup of tea. fair enough. to all the boys i loved before, apparently a crowd favorite, wasn’t my cup of tea either. to each their own, i guess. compared to his action-packed blockbuster movies, jeff tells me my netflix selection is gay. like, literally. i once watched this lesbian movie whose title i don’t even remember anymore because i know for sure that i watched more than one so now my netflix recommendations are full of it. the handmaiden. you should check it out. until the next season of grace & frankie and la casa de las flores comes in, i’m gonna be stuck watching independent B-grade movies that never fail to make jeff go “WTF?!” because i oftentimes make him watch them with me. it’s just not fair though how he loudly complains about my choice of movies at the end.  i mean, i don’t say anything about his movies. maybe because i find it rude to pass judgement on films i fell asleep a quarter of the way through. so, anyway… yeah, we went to the city a few sundays ago i can’t remember which particular one now because this post has been sitting in my drafts for ages waiting for me to pick up my slack. jeff wanted to take raven to this “baby shark” event at fed square he said he saw on facebook. the details he passed on to me were as clear as mud so left to my own devices, i assumed that there would be an endless loop of the baby shark song blasting on speakers somewhere and a throng of kids snapping their little fingers and hands and arms in time with the music for 10 hours straight because according to my “reliable source,” the event was from 2pm all the way to 12 midnight. i should’ve listened to my internal alarm bells then. 12 midnight?! that’s way past kids’ bedtime. hell, by 9pm, i’m already knackered! not to mention that the city looked dismal on that day. beautifully dismal — when the bare winter treees sticking out their skeleton branches against the cloudless sky are seen from the warmth and comfort inside your car and you’re not the one driving. however, the moment you step out into the freezing cold with its intermittent rain showers, it becomes just that — dismal. and i’m a ray of f%cking sunshine beaming with positivity. but that day wasn’t really as bad as i’m letting you on, though. except that my mood, as i’m writing this, is… let’s just say, a little ‘chemically imbalanced.’ like one of those working theories scientists have on schizophrenia which may or may not be true but is something they cannot totally discount in favor of the other factors that could be probable causes as well. but in my case, it’s more subliminal depression than schizophrenia. i haven’t written in such a long time that it makes me sad. coming home at the end of the day, i just wanna sleep. which i do. because not sleeping makes me sad too. which becomes this terrible case of a dog chasing its own tail. now the thought of that proverbial dog is making me sad as well. wtf is wrong with me?! and my face. because it looks like a dumpling on jeff’s pictures. oh, and the “baby shark” event going on at fed square at the time? it was actually a promotion for disney’s upcoming christopher robin movie. so in the end, raven still got something out of it so i guess it’s all good.

*raven at 2 years old