i once had my “fortune” read by this indian guy who owned an indian restaurant in cebu. it wasn’t exactly a fortune reading as it was a personality one. and he didn’t look at my palm or anything. just the leftover granules of this indian coffee you had to order off the menu and finish before it was your turn to sit nervously in front of him while he stared into your soul and told you stuff that would leave you questioning who you really, truly are in the deepest, rawest possible way.

the dude was pretty much spot on.

he said i wasn’t much of a dancer. but then again, you don’t need to have psychic powers to make that observation. i’m pretty stiff, in a sense. must be my posture or something. a classmate in college used to keep telling me i had a “straight body.” like wtf does that mean?!

there were a lot of other things he said but unfortunately for you, they’re also highly confidential. i mean, you know, they’re the kind of information you’d rather keep to yourself, or stored in the safety of your secret crazy. you know what i mean?

but he did tell me that i’m a decent person. that i keep my word.

yesterday made me question that.

because after dropping off raven at the day care, i had all these plans in my head that i told myself i would do:

1. go to the dentist
2. go to centrelink to update my details (which i need to do in person)
3. see this exhibition at walker street gallery and arts centre
4. vacuum the house
5. vacuum the house
6. vacuum the house

the first one i ticked off because i had an appointment for it. that schedule was pretty much set in stone.

sitting in the car later, i realized i left my documents at home so #2 was scrapped.

#3 left me driving around a full car park with no available parking spot in sight. now, i know a sign when i see one and at the time, all signs were pointing me to home. SO I CAN FREAKIN’ FINISH VACUUMING ALREADY! i don’t know if you can relate, but if you have a kid, household chores tend to get done on an installment basis. the vacuum cleaner had been sitting in the hallway for 3 days, wire plugged and all, ready when i am.

the moment i got home, i thought i’d take care of my mental health first. i’ve read a lot of articles about moms and post-partum depression and how it can sneakily creep up on you with the most subtle of symptoms. that scares me. i must admit that i do get the blues on some days but i reckon i always bounce back. or at least, i make an effort to. i guess it’s when you can’t bounce anymore that it becomes a problem.

so to keep my sanity intact, i decided to use the time as an excuse opportunity for a little bit of me-time: took out my yarn and 2.75mm hook and happily crocheted away to 13 reasons why. something i chose to settle on because it was on the ‘top picks’ list and if left to my own devices, i would have spent an hour just browsing through netflix. that’s about the same time as watching an actual movie. and besides, everyone’s raving about it and with grace and frankie‘s season 3 finished, i have nothing else to watch.

side note: girlie was the one who introduced me to grace and frankie. i kept seeing it on my netflix recommendations but kept skipping over it because i thought it wasn’t my thing. guess what, turns out it was exactly my thing! i’m in love with that series!!! can’t wait for season 4!

anyhow…

yeah, that’s how i found myself: crocheting in my corner of the couch watching a boy trying to understand a girl’s suicide like it was a mystery puzzle to be solved. which it was. as novel as the concept was, all i kept thinking was, “that girl must have spent a lot of time planning and organizing the details after her death!”

and here i am, alive and living, and i can barely even organize 3 hours of my time.

because after my me-time was up, you know what i did next?

vacuum, of course!

NOT!!! hahahaha.

i started baking oatmeal cookies, that’s what!

long story short, the vacuum cleaner is still there. =)