between now and then

exactly 3 years ago today, i was on a flight that would change the course of my life forever. it was a risky move, but a calculated one nonetheless. i needed to leave my comfort zone. needed to be away from a relationship that was clouding my judgement. needed a new perspective; a new life.

i wasn’t scared. traveling alone for the first time to a whole new country i’ve never been to before didn’t really scare me. and that’s saying a lot for somebody who can be such a scaredy cat.

i wasn’t scared that i didn’t know anyone in melbourne, apart from the distant relatives i’ve never met before whom my mom told me to contact, just in case.

i wasn’t scared that i only had $700 on me which should last me 3 months for the duration of my study.

for some reason, i don’t remember feeling any fear. if anything, it felt like it was something i needed to do for myself. for my future. sure, i was sad that i was leaving behind my family whom i love more than life itself but at the same time i thought, well, i’m doing this for them too. and besides, i’d see them all again in 3 months’ time. which was how long my visa allowed me to stay in australia per entry, valid for a year.

as the plane taxied out of mactan airport, i tried to take everything in and memorize everything i saw because i didn’t know if i’d see them the same way i saw them when i come back again — the warmth of the sun on my face, the small airport buildings, mactan’s landscape getting smaller and smaller at takeoff. i imagined my folks walking back to the car, driving back home probably worried about me while praying that i’m gonna be okay.

melbourne

sitting by the window during my 7-hour or so flight to melbourne from singapore, i remember waking up at dawn and looking down into melbourne’s flickering city lights neatly laid out like a well-organized urban grid and thinking:

what does this city have in store for me?

apparently, heaps. i just had no idea.

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8 thoughts on “between now and then

  1. Kalingaw noh? Remember our conversation in IT Park. You said you werent sure about the breaking up part but you were sure about one thing: that you had to go there. You even joked “wa ta kbaw naa ra didto ako soulmate. Kanay naay abs.” How funny life is sometimes. If you just let it, it will lead you to the right direction jd diay noh?

    • OMG! bitaw noh?!!! and to think pina joke2 ra to na conversation but in the end, natinuod ra jud diay! i’m glad you remembered what i said kay kahibaw naka nako. lol.

      but yeah, life is funny. and i’m really glad to get out of that mess. you know everything so… =)

    • yep. 3 years already. doesn’t really feel like it. and yeah, i survived! (even eating ham and cheese sandwich for lunch for 6 weeks straight. lol.)

      amazing how strong we can be when being strong is the only thing we can do. (hey, that is so tweet-worthy! ma-tweet nga!)

  2. $700 with you is not a lot of money. So hard to live off that fo long. Props to you for getting along 👏 Such a beautiful photo from the plane. I am sure it has been a wild ride here so far 😀

    • you know what the craziest part is? that never really fazed me. i was like, “yep, i’ll wing it with just $700.” lol. i had no idea how crazy expensive melbourne is but for some reason, i managed to survive. having the frugal characteristics of a filo worked to my advantage. and jeff took me out to dinners too so i didn’t exactly starve while maintaining my ideal weight. lol.

      now, if only i can get my body back to that time in my life, that would be great! =D

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