sometimes this blog feels so dead. or it could just be my muse who’s dying. i have a lot of things to write about but then those very things end up lost in a vacuum somewhere.
like it doesn’t matter anymore. and i wonder why that is.
yesterday morning i buried a dead bird. a familiar-looking bird similar to the one popit brought in by its neck the other day to showcase her hunting skills. i literally pleaded with her to please, pleeaase not hurt the little bird as i slowly maneuvered my way into grabbing the poor thing away from her claws. finally releasing it out through the window.
it didn’t seem to have any problem flying so i don’t know if it was the same bird i found lying stiff on our front yard. either way, i sympathized for it the way you sympathize for somebody you think you know. and then all of a sudden, bam! i felt very emotional, tearily calling jeff to tell him i love him and that i didn’t want him to die and all that drama that you tend to say when you’re pregnant and all your hormones are out partying and getting wasted.
that little bird is now resting in peace in the shallow grave i dug. but if there’s one thing i learned from yesterday, it’s that life is all about family.
at the end of the day, my prayers are for the people i love most in this lifetime.
the pauses between 
I love you too jan! 🙂
i don’t even have to tell you that, huh? i know that you know. lesbo love. hahahaha. mwah!
Poor bird. I hope it rests in peace. It reminds me of a time when a bird had a broken leg and sat on the balcony in my apartment. My dad was kind and gave it a piece of bread. An hour later we found the bread still there but the bird gone. Dad looked over the balcony and saw the bird splat on the ground
You are right. Family and the ones that matter to us are everything. It’s not our accomplishments that make us happy – because at the end of the day if the ones we love aren’t happy, we will never be truly happy.
that is so true, mabel. every word you said were my exact same sentiments. and yeah, i feel like a huge part of our motivation to achieve something has to do with wanting to make our loved ones proud. either that, or wanting to be able to serve them somehow through what we will become as a way of repaying them for all the sacrifices they have made for us.
i don’t know if that’s just an asian thing, with us being really close to our family. all i know is that my family means the world to me. i’m sure they do to you, too. =)
I am actually not very close to my family, but I would really like being close to more people. I always get a warm fuzzy feeling when I see other families having a good time together. My parents certainly have done a lot for me, and though we don’t talk much, I still feel the need to be appreciative of their efforts 🙂
that depends on how we define “close.” sometimes, as tight-knit as asian families are, there are some boundaries that need to be observed in lieu of the members’ status within the family system. like, we don’t really open up to our elders about things that we know they might not be comfortable knowing about us considering all the values and morals they tried to instill in us growing up. call it a generation gap or whatever but it’s actually quite a common thing i have observed.
but even then, the love and respect would always be there no matter what. =)
and, yeah, it’s always nice to see happy families talking and laughing. it gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling too, making me miss my family even more. =)
Ana gyud na. The cycle of life.