“jan, your wedding is going to be wonderful,” girlie messaged me on viber.

it felt really nice to hear that. like it was all i’ve been needing to hear. genuine, heartfelt words coming from a friend who could solve me like a favorite jigsaw puzzle no matter how scattered and broken the pieces. somebody who “knows my pace,” or so she says. although i’m kinda confused as to what she meant by that because it immediately elicited an image of a turtle in my mind and as much as i love turtles for their wisdom, they’re also, you know, not fast?

i might have to get back to her on that lest i start brooding about it, like i have the tendency to. because once i do, i think and overthink and overthink some more about it in my head. marinating all these thoughts and emotions and then philosophizing them as a way of salvaging my sanity. i think that’s my problem. this whole time, i’ve been like a fcking sponge. absorbing energies left and right, regardless of the charge.

but these girls, man! i don’t know what i would be without them. (well, for one thing, i would have been NORMAL. their craziness has infected me over 14 years — slowly but shirley — like viruses that stubbornly sit on my cells. no wonder they call themselves the schizos.)

so, to the most amazing women i know and love more than warm showers, THANK YOU.

no, wait, i take that back. warm showers is where i draw the line.