First day (hopefully not the last) of hitting the gym. The 7:30 am aerobics was so liberating i lost not only a few precious calories but most of my oxygen supply as well. But you should have seen me smiling through my hypoxia, all pumped up for the permanent brain damage it was to cause me 4 minutes later.

Not only that, i thoroughly enjoyed grooving to the beat of the wrong music as i found myself moving my arms and legs a second late than the rest of the group. My dance skills are impeccable. With my grace and precision, you could almost swear i was a ballerina in my previous life.

Taking a temporary break from the weights i have been lifting for 10 seconds straight, i hear a lady near me holler to the fitness instructor while gesturing to her hips, “dong, unsay pagamay ani?”

I was this close to cupping both my boobs and following her question up with another one of my own — “kani dong, unsay padako ani?!”