it’s 1:11 on my watch and my hair is still dripping wet. from the rain that poured as heavily as the blessings that God has given me all these years. and has continued to bless me still. just dripping. because i have been blessed with so much sometimes it makes me feel guilty as i wonder if i deserve them all.
standing there in the midnight downpour on ram’s street, i realized, “hey, maybe i really do deserve all the love that i get. and to even doubt whether or not i am worth it is just plain stupid. especially so when a lot of people are yearning for the wonderful friends and family and boyfriend that i have.” right?
i know, i know, it’s downright emo and i hate to admit it but short of slicking gel all over my hair and slapping it sideways on my forehead emo-style, i sure as hell had an emo moment right there.
but i know better now. i am, after all, officially twenty-f*cking plus years old! lol.
i love love love love love love love my dad. i got the best dad in the world. i really do. and he just loves making all these little notes scattered around the house during my birthday. last year he did the same thing, with a little extra on the side. this year, it’s not just a little extra. it’s a HUGE extra — a surprise birthday party organized by my wonderfully creative little sister and my wonderfully schizophrenic friends. loved it! nevermind that i looked like a freaking retard in the video. i hope that video gets lost somewhere between transferring and uploading. lol.
because i feel a day wiser now, let me share with you these lines taken from kahlil gibran’s “the prophet” (just to make me sound sophisticated and well-read):
and you receivers — and you are all receivers — assume no weight of gratitude,
lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
for to be overmindful of your debt is to doubt his generosity
who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.