this grandma took up skating. again.

you know what they say about losers who never quit?

well, guess what, this grandma took up skating. again. but this time with a little more vengeance and a lot less indecision because i have made up my mind: i’m more a rollerskates kinda girl. and at some point within the next 12 months, i wanna know how to spin in them.

for jeff’s sake, i did try rollerblades and yeah, it was somehow easier in a sense but on the other hand, it didn’t feel like it was me. they were chunky as and looked very masculine. jeff had to tie my laces for me because i couldn’t do it tight enough. either that, or i simply couldn’t be bothered and watching him do it was a pleasure similar to what having a manslave probably feels like.

whereas rollerskates look dainty and they come in all different colors of the rainbow. very feminine. they’re like a girl’s girl, you know what i mean? plus, i can tie my own shoelaces with no help from a man at all.

“most of the girls who go to our wednesday night skates are lesbians,” he pointed out.

well, there you go.

but, of course, i have to give credit where credit is due. and this time, i have to say that this lady truly did inspire me to try giving skating another go. she added me on instagram out of the blue, or perhaps a marketing strategy.

i was on my 30-minute lunch break, caught in the middle of the humdrum of work. i went over to her account and what do you know, it was like the universe was calling out to me. she looked like she was having so much fun. and there i was with my canned tuna and leftover rice reheated on the microwave.

so i took it as a sign.

long story short, i renewed my lease in the #yolo department and here we are.


i found a beginners classes at sk8house that starts at 7pm. perfect for people working like me. i don’t know why other rinks don’t offer such classes after work hours. (i’m looking at you, caribbean rollerama.)

i literally had to fight for this class with jeff. almost an ugly one, too.

“you don’t need to do classes! just put in the hours at the rink and that’s how you learn!” he said a little too strongly.

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…

an unsolicited advice i didn’t want or need considering how i know myself and what my learning style is. we’ve tried that route already and clearly it wasn’t working. and besides, i already made up my mind to take up those classes ever since i saw a video on their website featuring these older ladies who started in the beginners classes as well who can now dance(!) in their skates — with choreography and costume, to boot!

i got so excited i woke jeff up at 6 in the morning (i couldn’t sleep.) and whispered mysteriously, “hey, jeff, i think i just found my tribe.”

perhaps it was the insomnia. all i know is that i thought their costume of bead necklaces, bandanas, and bell-bottom pants rocked and i wanted to be a part of their little group. or have whatever it was they were on. it was like the great gatsby, axl rose, and abba rolled into one. it was fantastic!

i don’t know if it’s bad luck to get my own costume too early in the game so i’m gonna have to hold off on that one when i can actually skate and this isn’t all some form of delusion in my head.

sk8house, carrum downssk8house, carrum downs

raven got her own pair of skates on the same night too. an unplanned expense on jeff’s part because watching me teeter around the rink made her want to go skating as well and she was, as he put it, inconsolable.

let’s see how long it would take for him to cave in when she uses the same tactics as a teenager.

in fairness, she had fun in her skates, though. obviously she couldn’t roll in them yet but come on, she’s just 2 years old.

i mean, look at me. i’m almost hitting menopause and i’m pretty much the same level as her!

bloody hell.


*raven at 2 years old