To be completely honest, I wasn’t in the mood for much reading this year. I mean, I tried. I was that studious-looking colleague at work reading a book during my breaks, if only to keep me from scrolling on my phone. But then a lot of times, especially at home, the black screen would pull me in and I’d find myself ordering books online again to add to the growing pile of guilt that I have yet to read.

This bitch will forever be chasing its tail.

But then again, it’s the start of the new year tomorrow and the possibility of self-improvement smells fresh as I am certain to dedicate reading to my list of resolutions, after having had lukewarm literary efforts in the past.

By that, I mean I’ll try harder next year.

Of the handful of books that I managed to finish, the above books were the ones that stood out to me the most.

The Light Between Oceans, a book I kind of stole from a communal library at the resort we were staying at in El Nido, was surprisingly beautiful! I could not put it down. It’s a story about when bad things happen to good people; and when good things happen to good people but under the premise of a bad decision. This book tackles the grayness of morality under certain circumstances and the domino effect of each and every decision that affects the people involved that extends outwards into the bigger community that they live in. There are no villains in this story. There are no judgments, no incrimination. Just pure riveting storytelling that exposes the rawest of human emotions in the most touching and compassionate way. Definitely one of my most favourite books to date.

And, yes, I dabbled with another Dostoyesvsky again. I’m slowly dipping my way in to the so-called classics and it’s actually not as bad as I presumed it would be. I mean, reading them isn’t exactly a breeze. It takes a lot of concentration and comprehension on my part. And it doesn’t help at all that I get so fucking distracted.

Am I the only one who feels that way when reading a book?

Like, as soon as I start, my mind goes into overdrive by reminding me of the laundry I need to do, the school events I need to consent to, and don’t forget to buy cat food for Popit!

Between the internal to-do lists and scrolling on social media, it’s no wonder my brain isn’t at an optimum capacity to handle deeper intelligent work. It’s easier to just doomscroll and find refuge in not having to think at all.

BUT.

I’ll always be a sucker for Metaphysics. I enjoy learning about the vast expanse of the universe and the role that we play both in the smaller and bigger pictures. I like that kind of shit. And the crazy thing is, the more I read about it, the more I discover that it’s exactly the same themes, just worded differently. It’s quite fascinating.

It’s one thing to acquire such ancient knowledge. Applying it is an altogether different beast.

Which is pretty much the story of my life, not just spiritually but also when it comes to my sleeping habits. After having read Why We Sleep, I learned about THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE OF SLEEP IN LITERALLY ALL AREAS OF OUR LIFE (not an exaggeration and the claim is science-based for doubters out there) but for the life of me, I still struggle to clock out at 10PM sharp.

Another resolution to add to what now looks like a growing list. Bloody hell.

The rest of the books I read were pretty mid. I was sorely disappointed with Fredrik Backman’s My Friends after having read A Man Called Ove last year and found it brilliant. I thought the former would be just as good, if not better, but no. Out of respect for the author as I am not cancelling him completely, I didn’t give up on the book but I did skip lots of paragraphs and skimmed through lots of pages just to get to the gist of a crawling story whose humour and substance were few and very far between.

Same goes for Me Talk Pretty One Day.

And while I’m in this mood, might as well chuck Surrounded By Idiots under the ‘Meh’ Category. I mean, look, at the end of the day, it’s another Self-help book. While it was nice to learn about people’s different personalities and labeling them blue, green, red, or yellow according to their defining quirks, it doesn’t really sit well with me to put people in a box knowing how complex personalities and traits can be. And given that the observation is done within the context of work environment where everyone plays a role and puts on a mask according to how they want to be perceived, there is no clear-cut mold.

Having said that, Jeff’s definitely a red with a mix of yellow. And I’m mainly a green with a hint of blue.

In other words, his ADHD clashes with my OCD.