because i feel this most of the freaking time

Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It’s a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write.


(quote grabbed from here)

happy national cat day! =)

chico would just have to understand. i’ll write a separate post dedicated especially for him at some other time but not today. because today, i’m jumping on the bandwagon and doing what i assume 90% of people on the internet are busy doing right now — posting cat pictures.

this one’s for the adorable feline who made me change my mind about loving cats. the same one who kept me company at home while jeff was away at work. who never failed to wake us up in the morning (unless she was outside the whole night cavorting with her lover).

the beautiful, haughty bitch who’d love you at her own convenient time but loves you wholeheartedly nonetheless.


as well as to the new boy in our family who, jeff reckons, is pretty special in a retarded kind of way. lol. we still love him, though.

happy national cat day to all the cat and cat lovers out there! =)

seahorse love

sea life melbourne aquarium

so the fishies were fun to watch: fishes with holographic skins that glinted in the artificial light. fishes with zebra stripes that make you wonder if they’re black on white, or white on black (because my brain works like that). the aquatic version of coneheads. unicorn fish. even the warty-looking ones looking oh-so-self-conscious under the scrutiny of the humans whose curious faces were plastered against the glass.

regardless of their shapes and sizes, if you look closely enough, they might even sorta remind you of somebody you know whom you might not be very fond of — that grumpy uncle who always couldn’t be bothered; an annoying pseudo-friend with beady eyes; or some random girl putting on a duck face in front of the camera.

sea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquarium

but more interesting than those creatures are the creatures worth reincarnating into. simply because they have such curious love lives. but mostly because they’re quite the faithful lovers too. the kind almost everyone desires to have.

frankly, i personally like them because it’s the males who get pregnant and give birth. lol. don’t get me wrong. i think pregnancy is a wonderful thing but i’ve seen more than my fair share of labors and birthing process having worked in a neonatal ICU before so i know pretty much the whole drill. have seen a lot of complicated deliveries that put babies under our care as a consequence so… it’s kinda scary. i can never look at it with rose-colored glasses anymore, having seen what i’ve seen. probably the same feeling divorce lawyers feel about marriage.

so, yeah, if i can have it my way, i’d rather jeff do it on my behalf. hahahaha.

sea life melbourne aquarium

either that, or we can both just be sea anemones. the colorful invertebrates dancing sloppily on the ocean floor.

fun facts: did you know that the sea anemone’s mouth also happens to be its anus? that it feeds on small fish and shrimp by injecting a dose of venom on its prey? and that nemo, as well as everyone else in the clownfish family, are not affected by its sting and even takes shelter among its tentacles?

yep. thanks to wikipedia, now we know!

sea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquarium

there are other stuff to see at the aquarium aside from those that i mentioned. i mean, it’s a pretty huge place so it only makes sense that they can house a crocodile too (they’re the ones with the v-shaped snouts, yeah? i always mix them up with gators).

the one jeff’s happily sitting on is obviously fake but somewhere within the premises crawls the real one — that one you wouldn’t wanna dare mess with!

sea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquarium

if crocs are not your thing and all the sea creatures that you see swirl into one big messy blob, there’s always the view of southbank and the yarra river to console you.

a cup of hot choco from the shop and you’re good.

today it hit me hard

i saw this couple walking on the side of the road.

the girl holding on to the guy’s arm;

laughing over something funny either one of them probably said.

and in a split second, the memories tide me over.

i am awash in a shore of nostalgia.

the movie nights that turned into movie marathons, thanks to viooz.

even watching that horrendous cebuano indie movie about badly made-up vampires

whose ending was just as fucked up as the entire move stitched together.

me feeling proud that you understood the whole thing even though it was all in bisaya.

but then again, with a movie like that, who the hell needs words?

a whole community of zombies in need of better costume and makeup.

wandering aimlessly with their arms stretched out in front of them, typical zombie-style.

as much as it sucked, isn’t it ironic that it has become our all-time favorite inside joke as far as movies are concerned?

no, not the hollywood blockbuster ones where i fell asleep comfortably tucked in that almost sacred space between your shoulders and your little monggos face.

not even a highly intellectual movie such as “her” where i fell asleep again.

“in time” was a pretty good one, though. that one i liked.

especially after you explained the whole concept to me as the movie went on

because i was too dumb to get it.

i’m obviously very slow when it comes to moving pictures.

just as you are pretty slow when it comes to written words.

let’s see how long it would take for you to read this.

so let me make this easier for you.

all i’m trying to say is,

i miss you.

i miss us.

but today it hit me hard.

sea life melbourne aquarium. soothing the autistic in me.

for somebody who’s scared shit of jumping into the water, not because i can’t swim but because i start to get petrified the moment i couldn’t feel the solid ground beneath me, i do find the underwater life amazing. mesmerizing, even. especially so when i view it in a controlled environment.

like in a mega petri dish an aquarium.

or when i’m snorkeling and the salty water hasn’t yet penetrated my already-fogged up goggles and i see all them fishes darting in, out, and around gloriously colorful corals that seem to be dancing to the rhythm of the sea.

although i don’t mind watching the underwater life on the background of a videoke too. or on any tv screen, for that matter. 4k or not.

sea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquariumsea life melbourne aquarium

but aquariums are pretty terrific by themselves. especially the huge ones that could house practically the entire ocean in there.

and you’re there right in the middle of it all.

grounded in your smallness.

the huge stingrays swimming effortlessly all around you. giving you that awkward smile you’re free to interpret as either mocking or charming. it’s cute, though, their smiles. although i’m not a big fan of their stings because, you know, steve irwin.

sea life melbourne aquarium

they say that fishes are a good therapy for ADHD kids. calms them down. i don’t have it (jeff does. lol.) but something about the fluidity of the fishes’ movements calms me down. sitting there, i must have looked like an autistic child with her hands cupped on either side of her eyes, almost kissing the thick glass panels. (“look, jeff, this is so cool!”)

but trust me, you get the best view that way: an unobstructed macroscopic tunnel vision of the mini schools of fish scattered by the sharks that are not being chased by the stingrays because, for some reason, they all coexist together.

here’s a video of what it would be like once you drop your guard and pretend you’re a mermaid (which i may or may not have done at the time).

it’s not the best video, i know. i’m still in the process of working on my video editing skills, although i don’t know why i should bother when i have someone who can do it for me for free (hi, jeff!) but i didn’t want those clips wasted. jeff took some really nice videos. you can even watch my blonde moment in HD which he captured as well.

me (reading a sign on the aquarium about how the glass distorts the actual size of the animals): …(blah, blah, blah) can make the animals appear up to 1/3 smaller so it’s like, they’re 3x larger.

like, DUH! *facepalm*

but seriously, though. am i the only one who loves aquariums?!

libraries that’ll leave you breathless

i’m palpitating right now as we speak. consciously reminding myself to breathe because these images are currently doing some serious damage to that part of my brain that actively controls both my respiratory and reading muscles. firing up all these neurons into a state of hyperactivity only bookish people can relate.

i’d be crazy not to post this here. there are actually 15 on the list because they wouldn’t exactly call it 15 incredible libraries around the world if there weren’t 15 of them, right?


sharing the top 5 pics that are cutting off my oxygen supply.

you’re welcome.

Admont Abbey Library, Austria

Admont Abbey Library — Austria

Strahov Theological Hall – Prague, Czech Republic

Strahov Theological Hall – Prague, Czech Republic

University Club Library – New York City, United States

University Club Library – New York City, United States

National Library of Finland – Helsinki, Finland

National Library of Finland – Helsinki, Finland

George Peabody Library – Baltimore, Maryland

George Peabody Library – Baltimore, Maryland

a belated birthday brunch and a sunflower surprise

not to brag but i’ve always been mistaken for something waaay younger than my actual age. i’ve had people guestimating me to be around 18. some were more generous with their allowance.

you look like you’re in your early 20’s. you must be — what? 28… 29 years old?”

when i’m not wondering if we’re on the same page as far as the definition of early is concerned, most of the time i take it with a grain of salt and a wee bit of smugness — it must be the smoothness of my skin. the youthfulness of my features. the “liquid brown eyes” which were the exact same words written on my high school year book to describe them. the same ones girly once said she would love to preserve in a formalin-filled jar as a table accent or a sick piece of artwork to satisfy her inner psycho killer interior designer.

i could flatter myself on and on but the brutal truth (and the closest bet i could ever get) has less to do with my complexion and more to do with my, um, cleavage. hahahaha. i know, i know. this time, we’re definitely on the same page here. all together now: WHAT CLEAVAGE?! lol.

but for the record, i am in my early thirties. which puts me somewhere around 38 or 39, if we follow the aforementioned people’s logic. jeff asked me what it feels like to be in this age i am now.

same feeling you felt when you were in this exact same age 2 years ago.” touché.

as far as i can remember, i’ve never been a big fan of my own birthday. it’s just another one of those days, you know. the only special thing about it is that i was born on the 10th of the 10th. which i think is pretty damn cool. not to mention that the first letter of my name is the 10th letter of the alphabet. plus, i have 10 toes and 10 fingers. if that’s not auspicious enough, then i don’t know what is! (i also obviously have the mental reasoning of a 10-year old.)

and because it’s just another day for me, i don’t really feel the need to celebrate it. the only time i did was when my dad invited my friends and relatives to surprise me with a party. it being a 10/10/10 which happens only what? once in a thousand years? other than that, nothing. (although he always manages to come up with surprises for me. tries to make it special somehow. shout out to all the best dads out there!)


this year, for some reason (god forbid it’s an ominous one), i felt like celebrating. nothing grand. just a very simple brunch with the freaks only friends i have. (guys, don’t die on me, okay? at least not at the same time. lol.)

birthday brunchbirthday brunchbirthday brunchbirthday brunch

with advancing age comes wrinkles you never saw before, as well as several changes in your lifestyle. whereas before we would have made a beeline for a little videoke and whole LOT of beer session for a night of alcohol-induced insomnia to “morning the night away,” things are so much more tamer now.

i mean, come on, we had a fcking brunch. BRUNCH! (like hell we enjoyed that one too. it amazes me the way people adapt to life sometimes.)

so, yeah, in lieu of a set of ice cold beer in buckets, we had coffee afterwards. well, they had coffee. i had a tall cup of cold kumquat & lemon tea which, ironically, still had the same effect on my bladder as beer. only maybe healthier. that is, if they didn’t pour a whole kilo of sugar in it.

so that was how the rest of our afternoon went. drunk on coffee, tea, and girl talk. while looking at our toenails.

birthday brunch

but the icing on the cake that greeted me when i got home?


i don’t usually get girly girly over flowers but that night, i surprised even myself. my vocabulary was temporarily reduced to just “awww….” because it was a gesture i never expected from a guy whose idea of a perfect date probably includes strolling hand-in-hand through the romantic aisles of JB hi-fi; eyes lighting up over the sight of computers and wires and cameras and lights and flashes and everything electronic gadgets galore. except for e-book readers. that’s the aisle he never finds himself in. unless he starts looking for me because chances are, i’m there.

it was the card that really got to me, though. there’s nothing syrupy about it but those three names on the bottom?

that’s my family right there.

p.s. to every one who wished this old lady a happy birthday, thank you. =)